For those of you that know me, you know my life is ever-changing and crazy. Looking back, I was a straight A student turned student barely graduating from high school, worked in the insurance industry from high school until about 1996, started an Associate's degree and quit, stayed home with our kids, reinvented myself by catering while the kids were little, went back to work in the ad agency and commercial photography industry, returned to school to actually finish a Bachelor's degree, and then quit my job to run my own artist rep business. Whew!
Unfortunately, I started noticing a pattern in my life changes, and that is pretty much every 2 to 3 years I get bored. I realized just the other day that I haven't really found my true passion in life yet. Or at least not one that fits within my number one priority - our kids. Guess what? I have been running my business for three years now.
I realized just yesterday how much my kids create my priorities for me. Yet it made me kind of nuts yesterday. I love my family dearly. The problem is that I need to love what I am doing and find happiness for me. See yesterday, I had a photo shoot going on that I needed to be at for client-sake. My daughter had to be 25 miles away for her class and my son had to be at soccer camp in the afternoon. So I drove my daughter to class, stopped at Panera to pick up treats for the shoot, got gas in my vehicle, went to the shoot for about 1 1/2 hours, drove to pick up my daughter, had to quick get her makeup (she is a teen and has no makeup left), drop her at home, pick up my son and drop him at soccer, quick meet the photo team for lunch, go back to the studio to shoot, leave an hour later to pick up my son, and then go home to quick order dinner. I was crabby and running on empty...I needed to fill up with some gas myself. What was I thinking? Running a business with kids still at home? And now I want to split my business into two business???
It wouldn't be me if I did things on a whim and not very well thought out. I cannot say "no" and I want to do so much. I realized in my frantic, stressed out driving from point A to B to C to D to Z yesterday that I cannot do everything and do them all well. Life has to stop and I need to smell the roses.
I have purchased the
North Star series of books including the journal. The journal has actually been quite helpful after only one week of writing in it. I am starting to see a partner to my passions, strengths, weaknesses, what makes me crazy and what makes me child-like. So my journey to creating a better life for myself in 2011 is moving forward....with a couple of turns off the path and a few readjustments back. My journey will continue with doing right by my business(es), my family and most of all myself. Stay tuned for where my journey continues to take me....honestly....I really am not sure myself.