Family

Boxing Day 2017

For the past two or three years, our son has joined my brother and his friends for a bit of soccer on Boxing Day.  The older guys usually go watch all of the pro soccer games at Nomad bar in Milwaukee, but since our college age kid doesn't drink, he sleeps in and joins them later for some fun (and competitive) soccer.  The younger high school kids got to join the older gents later in the day to play.  Pretty cool that there happens to be an ex-pro soccer player turned Red Bulls coach that plays with them. A fun way to end the Christmas holiday.

Resurrection of my Blog

It has been way too long since I have blogged.  Sadly, life has taken me in many different directions, but now is the time to resurrect the blog and tell my story and share my life with you.  I am excited that blogger offers the option to create several pages...and so I did for each category I plan on focusing in on.  The home page will continue to include old posts from when I first started my blog and then I hope to capture an image every day to post to the home feed.

Sit back and enjoy my stories about my life.

Another Poem

Sometimes You Need To Let It Go

You cannot change what happened, or bring back the past.
But you can change the future by being strong;
And having faith in yourself.
A lot lies ahead of you...hope and new beginnings.
So take life by the horns and turn it around.

Be a warrior, not a victim.

Author unknown

Clearing

Do not try to save
the whole world
or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create
a clearing
in the dense forest
of your life
and wait there
patiently,
until the song
that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know
how to give yourself
to this world
so worth of rescue.

by Martha Postlewaite

Sports Weekend

Oops!  I completely forgot to take pictures over the weekend.  It was a sports filled weekend with soccer on Saturday for my son.  Indoor, of course, as we are in feet of snow and subzero temps.  Today was packed with sports with our son playing in a futsal tournament, our daughter had a volleyball tournament and I was coaching my volleyball team at the same tournament.  This is what life is all about - family!  Needless to say, my daughter and I are pooped after today.

Since my daughter doesn't have a car, I drove the kids to school.  I believe even if she had her car, she wouldn't be willing to drive it.  It caused me to be late for work, but that was okay.  I felt assured I would know my kids were safe at school and I knew my daughter would feel best with someone else driving. 

We passed the accident site where the snow is still ruffed up from the accident.  I could sense the pain and fear in my daughter.  Life must go on though.  She feared going to school because she knew the kids would be relentless in teasing her...and they were.  Even a teacher made a negative comment.  Not sure where our society is going wrong, but we seem to have forgotten positive feedback goes much farther than negative teasing.

Today we are closing another chapter on this year.  And, although the accident still looms over our heads, it was a beautiful morning for a ride out in the country.  This photo was taken after dropping the kids off at school while heading into work.

An Accident

Hold your seats...this chapter turns pretty scary.  This winter has been the absolute worst ever and I take this as a sign.  If you read my old blog notes back in the summer of 2013, you will see that I had a huge decision to not only go back to work full-time, but to add a one hour each way drive to my day with a commute. This job takes me far away from my family at a quick emergency notice and it doesn't make this ex-stay-at-home mom and business owner very comfortable.

The past several months I have endured constant illness with my daughter which has equated to doctor appointments and taking off work.  Then there was the morning my daughter called in tears stating her brother was passed out cold on the bathroom floor.  And, yes, both my husband and I were already at work.  Me an hour away and him at least 35 minutes away.

Well, the snow globe was dumping and we had lake affect snow this morning.  My commute was horrible.  And then that phone call came in.  The kids had rolled over on the way to school.  I went into instant panic attack mode and had to turn around and drive back to save my kids from the cold and snow and dangers of an overturned vehicle.  I knew it wouldn't be a quick trip and it seemed like years. 

To say my heart sank when I saw the police lights is an understatement.  I felt a chill and it was as if someone had died.  The picture of my daughter's overturned vehicle will forever haunt me.  I realized today that my family is most important to me and that my job can't come first and that is okay.

Hello 2014!

Today is the first day of my 365 page book.  I am determined to create my story this year.  The story will unfold here in this blog.  I have already written down my goals and objectives for this year.  Unlike any other year, I have decided to create a somewhat general goal which will cover many aspects of my life.  The objectives will be many in order to accomplish my main goal for the year.  I want this year to be unlike any other year in that I finally finish things.  You see, I find myself attempting to accomplish many things and doing many things -- just not doing anything well. 

This has to change!  I must resolve to be focused and finish the second half of my life doing what I love and finally getting our family life and financial future on track.

It has been a couple weeks, I know. Life has been crazy around here with me working a full-time job approximately 45 miles away from home and continuing to coach freshman volleyball every day on top of work. But here I am again and mostly because I need to journal to release sadness and frustration.

No surprise it has come to this moment considering I regretted my decision to take a full-time job, so far away, and for an executive I knew was difficult to have as a client. Today was the day of reality. I should have known my day would go down hill after I had to leave my sick daughter at home alone without console from mom. I had to trust my husband would handle getting her cared for at the doctor. And then I would have to deal with everything from a far distance away. Then it happened.

I was called into a closed door meeting with the executive I had only known from a client relationship. And now I had to figure out how to manage that relationship as an employer relationship. It isn't easy when you can't walk away since that person isn't a client, they are your boss. The finger pointing was next. The elevated tone. The talking to me as if I were a child. As expected, my fear of accepting this position now came true. Humiliated, frustrated, beaten down, and left to fear my failure...I could not control the tears. The tears just kept coming all day long! By the time I left for the day, I was so numb from crying so much, I felt no emotion.

And then, I walked into the gymnasium, an hour late and frustrated. And then there were my volleyball players. So excited to see me and tell me their stories of the day, show me their serving, and ask what we were doing next. I came to life again even though I felt so beaten. No one should deserve to be talked to in a manner which you feel small. It amazes me how full of life a child can make one feel.

Multiple lessons were learned today. First and foremost, I need to start listening to the voice inside of me that tells me not to do certain things. That has always been my issue. Lesson number two - don't walk away from your passions. Follow your dreams and never let anyone tell you it is impossible. Never fear change or following through on your dreams.

Time Goes By Quickly

Today is the first day of a new school year and the last day of summer for the kids. Funny how something has to end in order for something to begin. Today is also the eve of a new start to my life and the eve to what will change how our family lives each day.

In February of 1997, my husband and I came to the agreement I would stay home to raise our children. Not allowing for someone else to raise our children. To give our children a parent to count on every day. We chose not to pay the high price of daycare - both for financial reasons and for emotional reasons. Today is the day before that lifestyle ends. Although I have always found work outside of our home, there has always been the flexibility to work part-time, freelance, or on a contract basis. Tomorrow this flexibility comes to an end.

I find myself saddened and frustrated that I could not make it until our children graduated from high school to make this leap. Our economy has forced this decision and I will now leap into the demands of the corporate world. Leaving my dream of teaching and coaching sports behind me and digging my feet into the cut throat marketing world. A world which intrigues and scares me all at once.

As I watched my two high school children drive away for school this morning, I wondered how they felt and if they would be alright today. It is just as hard today as it was the day they walked into kindergarten and first grade. Tomorrow will be a whole new uneasiness as I drive almost an hour away from home...where I have felt comfort and control of nurturing my family.

It has been too long since I updated this blog. I will now use this as my journal for a new journey in my life. To help me heal with the decisions forced upon me and to hopefully hear from other mothers out there facing some of the same changes in their lives.

Christmas Cards Ordered

Photo Strip Cheer:Black Flat Holiday Photo Cards
Check out our collection of Christmas cards and holiday cards.

First Day of School

Not really sure where this summer went to?! Perplexed, in fact, that it is over. A sad end to a busy and beautiful summer - and an exciting start to a school year with new challenges. For the first time ever, the kids are in two different schools. Yesterday, was the first half day of school for our son, and he is a typical teenage boy not wanting his picture taken (in case you cannot tell by the photos). Both kids love school which makes life so much easier. This will be the last year for Ian at this school, it will be filled with 8th grade fun, the joy of being the big kids in the school, and a Washington D.C. trip at the end of the year. Looking forward to the memories we will create this year and working on figuring out where he will attend high school.

Summer Ends...School Begins

It doesn't seem as though we had much of a summer this year. At least not to the driver, mom. I was thinking it would be easier as the kids became older; however, some things become easier while others are more challenging. This summer we had Captain's soccer camps at St. Catherine's High School and Prairie for Ian. Red Star (a.k.a. Kenosha United or something like that) summer soccer camp and Prairie's Coach Corey Oakland's summer soccer camp (Ian's favorite). McZ did a summer algebra class at her new high school. Then she did a summer volleyball camp. Last week was volleyball tryouts, which she made the freshman team, and this week has been practices. No vacation at all this summer...not even our annual summer trip to Lake Geneva. Summer just isn't summer like I remember it as a kid.

Back to school is just as I remember it with all the racing around to get supplies and new clothes. My kids don't really need new clothes so we have not done clothes shopping at all. For school supplies I have made two trips already, have an overstock of extras, and will most likely have to return to get more for my high school student.

Speaking of high school...our oldest starts this year and that means I have 2 kids in 2 different schools. Not only 2 different schools, but 2 different districts and cities. That is right! We did School Choice for our daughter McZ which means a commute of about 20 miles to school and 20 miles back home. Yes, it will be challenging juggling two kids, but well worth it. New year, new challenges, new memories, and new friendships!

Finding Passion in Life

For those of you that know me, you know my life is ever-changing and crazy. Looking back, I was a straight A student turned student barely graduating from high school, worked in the insurance industry from high school until about 1996, started an Associate's degree and quit, stayed home with our kids, reinvented myself by catering while the kids were little, went back to work in the ad agency and commercial photography industry, returned to school to actually finish a Bachelor's degree, and then quit my job to run my own artist rep business. Whew!

Unfortunately, I started noticing a pattern in my life changes, and that is pretty much every 2 to 3 years I get bored. I realized just the other day that I haven't really found my true passion in life yet. Or at least not one that fits within my number one priority - our kids. Guess what? I have been running my business for three years now.

I realized just yesterday how much my kids create my priorities for me. Yet it made me kind of nuts yesterday. I love my family dearly. The problem is that I need to love what I am doing and find happiness for me. See yesterday, I had a photo shoot going on that I needed to be at for client-sake. My daughter had to be 25 miles away for her class and my son had to be at soccer camp in the afternoon. So I drove my daughter to class, stopped at Panera to pick up treats for the shoot, got gas in my vehicle, went to the shoot for about 1 1/2 hours, drove to pick up my daughter, had to quick get her makeup (she is a teen and has no makeup left), drop her at home, pick up my son and drop him at soccer, quick meet the photo team for lunch, go back to the studio to shoot, leave an hour later to pick up my son, and then go home to quick order dinner. I was crabby and running on empty...I needed to fill up with some gas myself. What was I thinking? Running a business with kids still at home? And now I want to split my business into two business???

It wouldn't be me if I did things on a whim and not very well thought out. I cannot say "no" and I want to do so much. I realized in my frantic, stressed out driving from point A to B to C to D to Z yesterday that I cannot do everything and do them all well. Life has to stop and I need to smell the roses.

I have purchased the North Star series of books including the journal. The journal has actually been quite helpful after only one week of writing in it. I am starting to see a partner to my passions, strengths, weaknesses, what makes me crazy and what makes me child-like. So my journey to creating a better life for myself in 2011 is moving forward....with a couple of turns off the path and a few readjustments back. My journey will continue with doing right by my business(es), my family and most of all myself. Stay tuned for where my journey continues to take me....honestly....I really am not sure myself.

Lisa Leonard Designs

I absolutely love Lisa Leonard's jewelry designs! There is a new necklace for summer on my purchase list - play everyday.

Uncle "Dick"

On August 6, 1994, I married my husband.  The same day, I gained the best aunt and uncle-in-laws in the world - Aunt Karen and Uncle Dick.  To me they are just that - my aunt and uncle. 

Sadly, about last August, Uncle Dick was diagnosed with a form of brain cancer. He has undergone extreme treatments this last year.  Just enough to prolong his life and to give him and his family enough time to just simply enjoy their time together.  Honestly, he probably would have been just fine allowing the cancer to take over back when he was diagnosed, but in the name of love he decided to tolerate treatments, hope for some time, and just be a dad, a husband, friend, uncle, neighbor....Uncle Dick died Wednesday afternoon.

Aunt Karen and Uncle Dick are not just your typical couple.  They share a love of God and of each other like no other person I have ever witnessed do.  My faith is not strong; however, when I am around them I feel the power of faith.  You see, during this whole past year, neither of them have blamed anyone, lost faith, showed anger, or sadness.  No....they loved each other, cherished the little time they knew they had together, prayed, and had faith that Dick would go to a better place.  They celebrated so to speak. 

Karen runs the Leadership Racine program and maintained a constant presence during the program year, was present at meetings, continued doing the work she does so well right from home and never missed a beat.  She would tell me stories about how they would take a walk or go for ice cream together "on a date".  There were no tears...or at least not that I saw....she just kept looking forward, remembering good times, and creating new memories just as if life never threw them a curve ball.

Karen and Dick together are an amazing team and now they are an even stronger team with Karen here with us and Dick leading the way in heaven.  We love you Uncle Dick....may you rest in peace and may Karen find the strength to continue on with the good memories you two created.